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Thursday, February 12, 2009

not perfect

a friend of mine had a fit with her parents the other day. she felt misunderstood by them and wants to move out. that made me remember things that happenned many times years ago. i had several arguments with my parents, or my mother to be precise, over things that really matter for us. we never really resolved the matters, but after the anger subsided and the emotional rollercoaster came to stop, i realized several things that changed the way i view our relationship.

one, after countless of arguments, any idiots should know that my parents and i are different. that, i can't, and won't, change. simply because i think they like who they are (if not then they must've commit suicide long time ago) and i like who i am now (who i am won't be who i am now if they're not who they are).

second, they are not perfect. as much as i'm not a perfect person too. we got angry, confused, disappointed, mad, difficult, sad, even sometimes became a real pain in the ass. and knowing that made it easier for me to deal with our parent-child relationship problems. i would stop thinking that they'd miraculously know what to do everytime, as much as i want them to stop thinking that i'd magically be a civil servant and live near their house in jogja.

so when i complained to my mom over something yesterday and she refuted by telling me that i should've seen it coming and planned everything well and bla bla bla, i can't help myself from smiling. a child is still a child. years of brainwashing that your parents know best won't just go away like that. and worst of all, even when you knew that they're not perfect .. you're still hoping that in the near future they'll be whatever you've dreamt them to be, loving and will accept you just the way you are.

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. at 1:33 PM

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