Sabar ... lagi loading. colors outside the lines

Thursday, February 12, 2009

not perfect

a friend of mine had a fit with her parents the other day. she felt misunderstood by them and wants to move out. that made me remember things that happenned many times years ago. i had several arguments with my parents, or my mother to be precise, over things that really matter for us. we never really resolved the matters, but after the anger subsided and the emotional rollercoaster came to stop, i realized several things that changed the way i view our relationship.

one, after countless of arguments, any idiots should know that my parents and i are different. that, i can't, and won't, change. simply because i think they like who they are (if not then they must've commit suicide long time ago) and i like who i am now (who i am won't be who i am now if they're not who they are).

second, they are not perfect. as much as i'm not a perfect person too. we got angry, confused, disappointed, mad, difficult, sad, even sometimes became a real pain in the ass. and knowing that made it easier for me to deal with our parent-child relationship problems. i would stop thinking that they'd miraculously know what to do everytime, as much as i want them to stop thinking that i'd magically be a civil servant and live near their house in jogja.

so when i complained to my mom over something yesterday and she refuted by telling me that i should've seen it coming and planned everything well and bla bla bla, i can't help myself from smiling. a child is still a child. years of brainwashing that your parents know best won't just go away like that. and worst of all, even when you knew that they're not perfect .. you're still hoping that in the near future they'll be whatever you've dreamt them to be, loving and will accept you just the way you are.

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siput at 1:33 PM

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Thursday, December 04, 2008

proven


everything takes time. wounds to heal, happiness to come, accomplishments to achieve, anything. and when the time comes, time will say "it's time."



proven.

siput at 5:33 PM

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Saturday, November 29, 2008

a proof that i am a simple person after all

it's really weird that simple things could make your day better.


when it got started, this weekend is not particurlary a good weekend for me. i promised my boss a publishing proposal for monday. i was busy tying loose ends on weekdays that i decided to cram it all on this weekend. everyone should know that cramming is not a good way to prepare anything. but as a cramming expert, i think of it as easy task. this is like what ... my thousand-th cramming.


so there i was waking up at ten, nose half-blocked, body aching, and feeling really-really not good. and it wasn't even a hang-over. sh*t ... this is going to be a hard weekend.


but i went through it anyway. i ate my brunch (two slice of wholewheat bread with hazelnut choco spread, an apple, and vitamin). i agitated a few people over the net to get my mind started and hit the shower. a shower always do me good. so i went and washed every single stain of laziness off me and head to my computer. it took me about an hour to go through the preparation (checking some reference sites, replying emails, watching Atlantis Squarepantis) before getting started and after that, of course, the lights had to went off.


damn.


after swearing for about fifteen minutes. i decided to just drop it off until the lights came on again, or until my mood strikes. which i doubted it will strike again anytime soon. i went to the door of my 4,5 x 3m room and opened it.


the sky was beautiful.


5 minutes later i was sitting on my door, reading (work stuffs) and admiring the sky. i was doing my outline for an hour as i realized the sky and everything around me turned color to cotton candy.


the lights had went on about 30 minutes ago.

siput at 1:17 PM

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